Course Review

Well here we are the final blog post. I am sure all my avid readers out there (which consists of basically you Jon), are greatly disappointed my blogging is coming to an end.

All in all, I found the course helpful and interesting.  The course has shown me the importance of form in both poetry and literature. Before this class, content and stylistic elements had always been the majority of the focus in my English classes, so this was an overall new idea, especially to be the largest theme throughout the course. For the most part I enjoyed the vast majority of the pieces we read. My favorite piece poetry we looked at was “Ozymandias” and my favorite short story was “Dead Men’s Path”. I liked these two specific pieces because I could see the real world connection and political undertones in both of them. The only piece I did not enjoy was “Young Goodman Brown”, simply due to the old language used in it.

The part of this course I enjoyed the most was how unconventional it was. The idea of the blog, digital literature, and alternative forms of literature, was outside the typical English course but related well to our generation. The blog, specifically, gave the course a steady work flow and got us writing, without being burdensome and overloaded. My favorite blog activity was the song analysis. Furthermore, I found the three formal essays to be thoroughly explained in lectures and the writing workshops gave specifics on what the professor was looking for. Finally, I believe this structure was created for people to succeed in the course and removed the part of English courses I despised the most, subjective marking.

Thank you for the term.

In Cold Blood

It wasn’t the cold air that stopped me, or even the local peoples, as I have been on their good side for years, it was the guilt. They say money doesn’t buy everything, but I guarantee it comes pretty well damn close.  I’m a black market smuggler you see. I specialize in Arctic animal products. The typical stuff...polar bear furs, baleens, the occasional taxidermy, but most of all I focus where the money is tusks. This time it is where the real coin lays, the Holy Grail of Arctic products, maybe for heaven’s sakes all products, the narwhal tusk. The unicorn of the sea. The horn that would’ve given me plenty.  

It was only a week ago, a regular Arctic summer morning, where 4 in the morning and night only differenced from how the sun faced our old shack. We were a population of three, living in an old NORAD testing hut. Bryan, Anthony and I. Bryan and Anthony were there for their knowledge of the land, or should I say sea. I was there for the money and my mouth to get the tusk across the big blue back to the Emirates, where it would act as a great mantle piece to some prince or high society elite, I didn’t know who the lucky 27 other people were to get these crown jewels, frankly I don’t care as long as I get mine and my 20 percent commission. The mating season was still early and we only needed 6 more. Bryan stated that we could easily be done in two or three days.  We loaded the boat like every other morning. We loaded our rifles like every other morning. We loaded our stomachs like every other morning. I just didn’t load my sense, or maybe it was the first time I did.

As we parted from our inlet and preceded up the fjord, I looked around and saw the same glacier we passed every day, the same walrus colony, the same gull cliff, but for some reason maybe it was the way the sun hit it, maybe it was just because Brian and Anthony were somewhat quiet. It seemed like all that was around was the animals and the noise of the boat speeding up the fjord. I was snapped from reality when I heard the rifle go off. I literally guess the ol’ narwhal literally swam into its death. As I heard another shot leave Anthony barrel I seen what we actually came into it was an entire colony. A jackpot. Literally like walking up to the winning lottery ticket on the sidewalk. Then I froze, not from the shrill wind, but from what I felt inside. Being a murderer to these creatures overcame me. It must’ve been the way the glacier looked or the waves crested. As I repeatedly yelled to stop and to stop and they just wouldn’t, I did what was right for the narwhals, instead of what was right for us. I shot them both just as they shot the whales. They just didn’t have a tusk to take.

Now I will die at the mercy of my employer. Not for killing Bryan or Anthony. For not killing the whales.

I Would Not Like To Thank the Academy

Dear Members of the Academy,

I have been an avid follower of movies over the past decade and in turn a follower of the Academy Awards. I go to the theatre nearly every week, keep a close eye on imdb ratings and even see what box office sales are like week to week. I am writing to inform you that you are completely out of touch with the population and your fans.

The most recent awards show last month epitomized the Oscars reputation of appealing to only the critics. The major awards went to The Artist (Best Picture, Actor and Director), which as you obviously know because you voted for it is a silent film. I myself watched and did like The Artist, but with its box office revenues hardly deserve these so-called dignified awards. In the Best Actress category, you once again awarded your favorite Meryl Streep who has almost been nominated every year I’ve been watching. Sure Streep is good but really 17 times seems a little ridiculous.  With the past few year’s bringing box office flops to the red carpet with The King’s Speech, The Hurt Locker and No Country for Old Men, it is time to allow the fans to have a say in “Hollywood’s greatest night.”

Look at the fan favorite Harry Potter series in which many believe actors such as Alan Rickman, as Severus Snape, should have had multiple wins  and the series itself for being so popular should have had at least a couple Best Picture nods.  The fan favorite comic book movies never even get a look, except the rare nomination for Best Visual Effects, and poor Robert Pattinson has every pre-pubescent teenage girl raving about him and cannot get a single Academy member to acknowledge his performances.

I plead to the Academy when looking at nominees next year, instead of choosing George Clooney for another boring drama or Meryl Streep for some biopic of historical figure to take a chance on Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man,  Jennifer Lawrence for The Hunger Games’ Katniss Everdeen or even Jennifer Anniston for some typical romantic  comedy. Choose anything that your fans, not just your members actually like and pay money to see.

With little hope of change,

Travis Payne

Power Outage a Duck Protest

Memorial University of Newfoundland experienced a power outage in its Paton College and Burton’s Pond Residences on Wednesday, February 29^th. In the 21^st century lifestyle we live, electricity is obviously a vital part our everyday life.  No laptops, television, wireless internet signal, dining hall service, light, or even some residences automated toilets were operational during this day of blackout. However, on a frigid February day, the necessity students missed the most was heat.  

It is believed heat was the root of the cause of the power outage. Memorial officials have declared the cause of the power outage to be a broken pipe that flooded an electric service room in Hatcher Residence, causing a major electric cable to short out. However, what Memorial did not declare was how the pipe broke. Inside sources have told us here at Pond Press, that the pipe was actually a drainage line of Burton’s Pond; the home to many ducks here on campus. It was said the line was deliberately blocked off with grasses, twigs, leaves and mud. After forensic analysis, it is said the ducks themselves did this.

Prominent duck psychologist, Dr. Bill Mallard, of the University of Dark Wing, said this is a prime example of ducks trying to bring their issues to the forefront of the “speciesist” humans. Dr. Mallard states the ducks in Burton’s Pond stay in their manmade habitat at Memorial due to ease of food, even though that means braving Newfoundland winters. The pond is given minimal heat in the winter, which is evident due to most of it being partially frozen over most of the winter months. Dr. Mallard is convinced the ducks were protesting the amount of heat humans are given compared to the lowly species (as humans see it) the ducks. Its purpose being to show what it’s like to live without heat and it’s important to note the students, unlike the ducks, still had shelter.

Whether or not the protest was successful remains unknown. It is believed Memorial officials are considering putting more heat to the pond to avoid further protests of this nature. As for now, the ducks are still bearing the elements.