Power Outage a Duck Protest

Memorial University of Newfoundland experienced a power outage in its Paton College and Burton’s Pond Residences on Wednesday, February 29^th. In the 21^st century lifestyle we live, electricity is obviously a vital part our everyday life.  No laptops, television, wireless internet signal, dining hall service, light, or even some residences automated toilets were operational during this day of blackout. However, on a frigid February day, the necessity students missed the most was heat.  

It is believed heat was the root of the cause of the power outage. Memorial officials have declared the cause of the power outage to be a broken pipe that flooded an electric service room in Hatcher Residence, causing a major electric cable to short out. However, what Memorial did not declare was how the pipe broke. Inside sources have told us here at Pond Press, that the pipe was actually a drainage line of Burton’s Pond; the home to many ducks here on campus. It was said the line was deliberately blocked off with grasses, twigs, leaves and mud. After forensic analysis, it is said the ducks themselves did this.

Prominent duck psychologist, Dr. Bill Mallard, of the University of Dark Wing, said this is a prime example of ducks trying to bring their issues to the forefront of the “speciesist” humans. Dr. Mallard states the ducks in Burton’s Pond stay in their manmade habitat at Memorial due to ease of food, even though that means braving Newfoundland winters. The pond is given minimal heat in the winter, which is evident due to most of it being partially frozen over most of the winter months. Dr. Mallard is convinced the ducks were protesting the amount of heat humans are given compared to the lowly species (as humans see it) the ducks. Its purpose being to show what it’s like to live without heat and it’s important to note the students, unlike the ducks, still had shelter.

Whether or not the protest was successful remains unknown. It is believed Memorial officials are considering putting more heat to the pond to avoid further protests of this nature. As for now, the ducks are still bearing the elements.